Decision

I have wanted to be a pastor since the summer before 5th grade. I had been involved in church before that, but this particular summer really set things on fire.

Ever since I could, I went to EWALU Bible Camp in Strawberry Point, IA. It is a beautiful place and filled with wonderful people. This is where I learned to sing songs, do skits, hike, cook over a campfire and love Jesus.

I was a Trailblazer this particular summer. This meant I was out across the river and had to walk... a lot. My counselor for this week came from Tanzania. He was a Pastor/Missionary and left his congregation and family to come to Iowa for the summer. While I can't remember his name, I remember much about his character. He was king, gentle and spoke with quiet passion. He had an authenticity that was captivating and drew me into his stories.

Every Wednesday night at EWALU there is a campfire where the counselors get to pray one on one with their campers. It is a very special, very sacred time. Needless to say, when my turn was up I was a little nervous. I had been to camp the year before, but had been too awestruck by the whole week to really understand what was happening. For whatever reason, I was very present at this particular time.

We went away a short distance and my counselor laid hands on me. He prayed for me, thanking God for our week and asking God to fill me. I don't remember exactly when I broke down, but I remember crying for a good long time. Even when I returned to the larger campfire I was crying. (Now, I am not a really emotional person, so this sticks out in my mind pretty clearly.) When I had stopped, I thought long and hard about our bible studies that week. I knew then that Jesus was a Reality I could not deny. That is when I first made my decision to follow him.

Since then, my relationship with God has grown and changed tremendously, but that child-like sense of certainty has never left me. Certainty that God is real and certainty that I am called to be a minister of his love to other people. I have fought it for a long time, taking some advice from a friend. He (who was in seminary at the time) said to me, "Ben, if God wants you to be a pastor, it will happen. Until then, run as far away from it as you can." Well, God has finally caught up with me. He reminded me of my camp story this morning, so I thought I would share. I am constantly amazed at how much God cares for His people and how we can hear things from Him on a daily basis - if only we will listen.