Come, Holy Spirit

I have been abnormally grumpy today. I am tried, restless and dry. The heavens seem like brass - it is impossible to pray, read the bible or focus on anything of any importance. This happens to me on a frustratingly regular basis and the best remedy I have found is journaling and/or eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. Ice Cream was not an option today, so journaling it was.

As I was venting my frustrations, I found myself asking God a question: "Why am I so dead and dry?" Now, I wasn't really expecting an answer. I am fond of asking God rhetorical questions because it allows me to get stuff off of my chest without actually having to do anything to change. Perhaps you can relate.

I think God had finally had enough because He gave me a response that was disarmingly simply - "So you can easily be set on fire."

Gotcha. God 1, Ben 0.

Why is it I don't cry out with intensity until I suffer? Why do I wait until I am starving to ask for spiritual food? I don't do that in the natural. Most of my free time is spent thinking about food actually.

I need the "Desperation Factor" in my life. I hate it, but I need it. Now, if I were feeling particularly spiritual I would postulate a thought on Saint John of the Cross' "Dark Night of the Soul." But I am not feeling very spiritual and ice cream is still not an option. Damn.

And so, as always, my last choice should have been my first.

"Come Holy Spirit. I need your touch in my life. Set me ablaze. The fuel is ready, the fire is on You."